How often have you found yourself making statements such as “I am sick,” or “I am angry,” or even “I am happy.” These “I am” statements serve to identify ourselves as being one and the same with the experience we are having. On a larger scale, we may use such statements in more negative ways, such as “I am poor” or “I am not good at relationships.” We are then confessing that whatever we are going through in that moment has become more than something we are experiencing, it has become something that has come to define us as individuals. And if we adopt a particular framework of who we are, it often further influences our future thoughts and subsequently the actions we take as a result of those thoughts. We may then be caught up in a vicious loop of negative self-images and self-talk that may only further influence the direction our life takes.
I believe the best way to get out of this potentially hurtful loop is to see ourselves as existing separately from our experience. Our experience should not define who we are unless we allow it to. For example, consider the above statement,”I am sick.” What if we instead thought “I am healthy but my body is experiencing an illness.” The identification of seeing oneself as sick may continue to manifest itself as a continually sick body, one which takes longer to heal. By seeing the self as healthy, yet moving through the experience of being sick, we may actually allow for a quicker healing process.
Likewise let’s reflect on the aging process. Many fear growing old and dying. Why? Because they are attached to the experience of being young, their former body shape, hair color or the once taut skin they enjoyed. This attachment to the experience of youthfulness causes many to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on expensive hair, skin and body treatments designed to help make them look younger than they actually are. However, none of this stops or even slows down the aging process. What if instead we could accept the impermanence of life, and accept that our bodies were meant to slowly break down and eventually give up, knowing this is an inexorable process that no one on this earth who has ever lived has been able to avoid? Would it not be less stressful to “go with the flow” as it were, and accept our physical changes?
I believe by accepting whatever state we are in, whether it be financial issues, aging, sickness or other major life events, that we can be happier and mentally healthier. At any given moment we are simply moving through an experience or collection of experiences, often not knowing how long it will last. But because we often don’t know how long an experience will last we may be inclined to give in to it, and lose our will to stay unattached from it. However, we must understand thought that absolutely every experience is temporary, as our bodies do not go on forever.
My beliefs are my own and I realize you may have your own thoughts about the connection between yourself and your experiences. Thank you for reading.