The tag for this site is “Celebrating Life as a Former JW.” I realize that not all I’ve written is about celebrating my life in the moment, and may at times drift toward a tendency to rehash old stories and experiences. Today, I want to share what I am most grateful for, which is the ability to live a life uncensored! I am beholden to no one! No one can tell me what to believe, why to believe or how to believe anything. Let me be clear, I do believe in God, but I am not a follower of any religion. True, I have on occasion visited a church to receive an inspiring message or watched Joel Osteen on a few Sunday mornings (oh boy, now I am really “out of the truth!”), but I do not believe that God is to be found in only one place. I have a one-on-one, personal relationship with God that no one manages but me!
When I write about living life uncensored, I don’t mean I’m walking around naked or going about shouting obscenities at random strangers. I do not live my life in a way that ever causes harm to anyone. In fact, I’m most comfortable giving to others, whether that be giving blood or working in a soup kitchen for the homeless, something a Jehovah’s Witness would not and could not ever do. My life is uncensored in that I don’t need anyone’s “literature” to help me gain a better understanding of, or relationship with God, and I don’t need to be guided or directed by other men and women. I certainly don’t need to be chastised for falling out of line with anyone’s directives.That’s not freedom.
I don’t believe that God is a manipulator of outcomes or that our lives are “predestined” (a most depressing and hopeless thought indeed). My life is what I make it, my “luck” comes from being prepared for every opportunity that comes my way. I may at times pray silently or out loud for God to guide me, or to help me find peace during a very difficult period, but I never ask to be “fixed” or ask God to “jump in” and take care of anything directly. If God was always pulling the strings I would be nothing more than a captive puppet, a victim of circumstances, weak and fearful of the unknown. I pride myself on the free will and free mind that I have too much to ask someone to do for me what I should be doing myself.
With living a life uncensored comes responsibility and accountability. I am answerable to myself for my actions. If my life isn’t working out the way I’d like it, well, that’s on me to find a way to right the situation. I will not wait on God or any other supreme being to come in and make me a better person. That’s my job.